I am single. Chronically. That does not exactly make me extremely happy. But I am also not depressed about it either. It is simply a fact about me that I can readily accept.
What annoys me is the behavior of males when they are sure I am single (although ignorant of my non-existing history): They go for it. In different ways - always according to their personalities. But they do. Generally that is not a bad thing. And it would be good if I showed any particular interest in them. The real problem is that I don’t. If I don’t know a guy I am simply friendly. That seems to me the normal thing.
But some men are seemingly not capable of understanding the difference of being a positive, radiant personality that throws her smiles around at everyone who does not disgust her and flirting.
And why do they then not simply let go when they are turned down? Do they really all believe that I am not honest? I mean - do they really believe that being single is such a terrible disease that I want to be cured from it no matter what? I have no problem with being on my own rather than with a man I don't like.
I am not only speaking from experience but also of what a close friend told me: “It is really hard. I’m immediately asking myself what she wants from me.” “So if I want my peace I simply should not smile?” I asked. “Yes.” So, apart from a few men I’ve really known for years now and some exceptions everyone has tried to check me out.
Because I believe that you often attract what you need, I am well aware that there was a period (when these guys were just too numerous) when I needed the confirmation that I was attractive. But I am also certain that that concerned only half of the cases. The other half were blokes that really tried everything to get with a female and mistook my general friendliness and casual interest, which simply lies in my nature, for particular interest and more than friendliness.
That is kind of disappointing. And also a bit scary because there are situations when I am already annoyed, because I know I will have to turn someone down that I only talked to for some time. “Ooops! I’m smiling…”
Anyway. I can’t help myself. I will keep smiling. Normally, I like men. J But please let that not suggest to you to pay my bill (as if that would impress me anyway – I usually spend what I can afford), drive me everywhere, call me, ask me out every other night or start “protecting” me from others of your kind. That might simply piss me off.
P.S. Dear bellatrixminor: Forget what I said about GLuv. Apparently he isn't sure about what is happening himself...