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As he did not seem to come back, she lay down again and soon dozed off one mor time. When she awoke next, she was feeling cold, so cold from the inside that she was shivering violently yet again, and unable to imagine how she could ever have felt warm. It was dark again, with the glowing red fire next to her. But this time she could perceive him, sitting on the other side. His eyes were closed and he sat, cross-legged, motionlessly. As she mustered him more closely, it seemed he was somehow not right himself. The longer she observed him, the tenser he seemed to be. His fists were clenched in his lap, the venes on his arms, on his legs, his throat and forehead were showing. He seemed thinner than before. Her body dragged her attention back to herself with recurring chills. She heard her teeth chatter. She had lost any feeling for the temperature of the surroundings. There seemed to be nothing but cold. And yet, in a strange way, it seemed right.

When she gathered back enough strength to focus her view back on his face she saw him staring back. His eyes were aflame. As their gazes met, the shaking grew to be uncontrollably and on his face, as if in response, signs of great pain showed. And then, simultaneously, both dropped to their knees, crouching toward each other, the fire still in between them.

She could still feel nothing but the cold, even as she came to kneel in the blazing embers.

"This is wrong. What is happening?"

"Are you cold?"

"Yes."

"I am burning. I wonder..."

"Give me your hands."

As she reached out she was able to perceive everything; both of them kneeling in front of each other in the middle of a glowing fireplace, she could smell the burning skin on their legs, see them meeting their hands, clasping each others wrists, she numb from the cold, he growing weaker from the fire that was burning his flesh. Gradually she felt feeling growing back in her fingers. It hurt. But now she was unable to let go.

At last, after a time that felt like endless torment, all pain was gone from her, with exception of the legs. When she was finally able to let go, and move back to examine her legs, she felt stupid and dizzy. She looked across the cave, seeing him still sit inside the fireplace, where the coals were now extinct except for a faint glimmering and sparking here and there.

"Has something like this ever happened to you before?"

"What?"

"I mean it. How did you know we had to join our hands? What is this about? Can you explain to me what you are? I am a simple fire fairy, who got out of his way once and has been duly punished. I know that my fate and the length of my life depend on the question of how long I will be able to stop my own fire from consuming me. But what are YOU and WHY were you able to stop the burning?"

He was looking angry as he spoke and yet she had no idea what to answer him. Her knees were hurting her terribly. Now she was shaking again. But this time from pain, exhaustion and relief that the cold was gone. Something was dripping on her legs. She realized she was crying. He got up and went away in the direction the entry must lie.

She managed to move backwards gradually, back to her bed of moss and wrapped herself back into the coat, crying for the pain, exhaustion and her perplexedness. She could not think properly, nor could she move and think of nothing but the pain in her legs.

 

1.11.11 21:54


And Frodo [...] was moved with great wonder, and he said to Gandalf: 'At last I understand why we have waited! [...] Now not day only shall be beloved, but night too shall be beautiful and blessed and all its fear pass away!'

(c) Tolkien
 
This is the the dark season. It's come at last. And I'm shaking off my fear. I'm diving in. This winter shall be blessed!

 

30.10.11 17:16


Es wurde ein Hexenfeuer, wie es nicht schöner sein konnte. Prasselnd und knatternd schlugen die Flammen zum Himmel.
Bis in die Morgenstunden umtanzte die kleine Hexe, allein mit dem Raben Abraxas, den lodernden Scheiterhaufen. Nun war sie die einzige Hexe auf Erden, die hexen konnte. Gestern noch hatten die großen Hexen sie ausgelacht, jetzt war sie an der Reihe.
"
Walpurgisnacht!", jauchzte die kleine Hexe über den Blocksberg hin.

"Heia, Walpurgisnacht!"
(c) Preussler

Credit to the greatest children's book I know. Thank you, Ottfried Preussler.

30.10.11 14:00


HYPER HYPER (before I lose this feeling, a quick documentation)

 

I am hyped,

ATS-, Hip Hop-, dancing in general-, music-, colors-, friends-, air-, body-, season-, running-, walking-, singing-, learning-, breathing-, eating-, smelling-, sleeping-, bathing-, hair-, nature-, greenness-, travel-, home-hyped.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKWoPlL2B8I

27.10.11 14:10


A perfect day

1 - wake up really early, still with the impressions of the sunset and the stars you watched last night on your mind and the sky's aflame with the most beautiful sunrise.

2 - get to university in time, on the bus (!), have fun in the seminar, meet Dana who takes you home in the car (!). Hang out, get ready.

3 - Drive to Edguy concert late. Get freaked out by traffic jam in the Ruhrgebiet. See sunset on the way.

4 - Arrive there without detours, get ticket, go inside.

5 - Fall in love.

This crazy band! No other band has "Wir sind die 6 von der Müllabfuhr" on their pre-show playlist. No other band has so much fun playing. No other band has songs like this. No other band has a leadvocalist like this. At least I know of none. I must admit, I hadn't listened to any of the new stuff in a long while because on first impression I didn't quite warm up to them. But hell, was I mad at myself because they were top material. Tobi was his usual goofy self, singing amazingly well - he even admitted to be the best singer in the world, a statement I would sign any day - the other's were their usual goofy selves as well, all absolutely happy with the AUDIENCE. The audience was wonderful. Let me say it like this: My expectations were extremely low since our experiences in Cologne but Essen really hit it! And even more since it was a postponed date. WOW. And since the crazy encore LAND OF THE MIRACLE I know for sure that I may not listen to them at times but I will always love this band, maybe more than any other. *.*

26.10.11 21:54


The embers left a burning imprint on the inside of her eyelids and followed her into her dreams. She found herself floating in a sea of hot redness, glowing, not burning. Discomfort turned into burning thirst and sweat until she awoke from a gentle cold trickling on her forehead.

When she opened her eyes, she found him bent over her in the twilight, in the act of putting a soaking cloth upon her face. As she was now awake he stopped and wordlessly helped her sit up und drink some water from an earthen mug.

Looking about her she found herself in a cave. She could not make out the depths of it that lay in the darkness but the little alcove in which she lay made her feel quite comfortable, maybe also because she was close to the cave's entrance that let in the dim light. He went away into the back of the cave to come back with a cup of steaming hot water with some leaves in it which turned out to be peppermint.

"I am sure you could do with something better than mints, but they are the only ones I have here. I don't stay in this place very often."

He sat down cross-legged in front of her, staring thoughtfully at her face.

"I'm sorry I caused you all this trouble. Surely you didn't intend to nurse me. And I don't even understand what's wrong with me. I don't usually get sick."

 He simply smiled, got up and walked out quickly.

23.10.11 12:03


When they finally paused at a small spring, it was almost morning, the coldest time before dawn, where the light begins to look grey again. She sat down on a stone because the moss was wet and wished she had taken her woolen coat with her. He stepped in front of her and mustered her closely. She realized that a golden spark was faintly glowing in each of his eyes.  He took her hands, breathed in deeply and upon releasing breath, warmth flowed through her like a wave. When he let go of her hands she started to shiver again, even worse than before.

"That won't suffice." Frowning, he took a coat out of his backpack and wrapped her into it. He sat down behind her and embraced her.

"You are too weak. You were stumbling before. This is no good."

She could not lift her head. Now that the cold had worn off a little she was shivering more than before. He sighed and then, with some effort, he lifted her up and carried her away.

 

**************

 

Upon waking up she found she was lying on dry, thick moss and staring into a small pile of glowing coals. She was feeling warm enough to be comfortable. When she turned her head she discovered there was nothing to discover. It was so dark she was blind for anything but the embers. Her drowsy mind could not be bothered to think and she dozed off again.

19.10.11 23:20


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